Thursday, December 27, 2007

Gone Postal


Stacie's house sits just beyond the trees.

My sister Stacie, for the second year in a row, did not receive her Christmas card from me. I am positive I put the right address on it.

Stacie lives in the Appalachian Mountains on a lovely hilly lane that cul-de-sacs three houses beyond her. A couple years ago, she had a mailman that was clearly dealing with some pent-up anger. He drove furiously down the road never slowing down for the several neighborhood dogs that snooze lazily on the quiet road. These dogs are truly neighborhood dogs. Everyone calls all the dogs by name, feeds them if they're at their house at doggy meal time, pets them, and of course looks out for them.

(Several months ago Stacie's next door neighbor got a new beagle pup. They wanted to teach their new pup to stay home so they put him on a really long leash so he could have lots of freedom, be part of the tight-knit canine community but still be grounded to home base. Stacie came home one day to find the little Beagle catching some zzzzz's in the middle of the road. He was still on his leash tethered to the owner's porch. Can you picture the cuteness?)

I got terribly off track telling that, but it sort of helps my real story about the mail delivery guy. Another side note: My mailman is the best mailman in the world. His real name is Don, but my kids started calling him Mr Berry because once he gave them some berries. They were very little so for some reason they became convinced that Mr Berry was his real name. Anyway, Don calls my dogs and my children by their names. Actually he calls Deborah Lizzybeth. He was our mailman when I was pregnant with her and at that time we called her Lizzybeth. Don still does. And he always gives Lucy and Bears treats if they are out front when he comes by. You can imagine why I think Don is such a good mailman.

Back to Stacie's Mad Mailman... He drove too fast for her quiet neighborhood where the dogs are free to roam and be neighborly. Stacie noticed a number of times that the mailman had no regard for the dogs. If it were just that, she probably wouldn't have approached him, but there were other things too. Once she received a parcel that didn't fit in the mailbox. Mad Mailman just threw it in her yard for the neighborhood dogs to chew on. But the real clincher happened on garbage day when the guy at the end of the lane hadn't removed his empty garbage cans from the road. Unfortunately Mad Mailman couldn't get to the mailbox for the cans.

Stacie watched from her porch as Mad Mailman went partially postal. He got out of his car swearing and kicking. He picked the blankety-blank-blank garbage cans up and hurled them down the ravine. Stacie wasn't impressed, but then again, Mad Mailman had never impressed her.

She went out in the road and stood expecting Mad Mailman to stop. He drove toward her angrily and she feared that he just might run over her, not as in run over her on accident. She thought he may be aiming at her. Anyway she started waving her arms so he'd stop. He came to an angry halt and Stacie asked him, and I quote, "Why can't you be a nice mailman?"

He got all belligerent on her and took off. Stacie wasn't through discussing the matter. She grabbed the door around the open window and hung on as he started to roar off. She hung on and ran with the car as long as she could pleading with him to "just be nice." He didn't stop.

She phoned his supervisor and reported her observations and personal experience. Mad Mailman wasn't her mailman for a while. When he came back to her route, he drove a little slower but gave her dirty looks.

Do you think there's any connection between Mad Mailman and my Christmas card not getting to her two years in a row?

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1 Comments:

Anonymous *mindi* said...

this made me literally cry with laughter. how funny! i can totally picture stacie in this story. have you ever seen that movie "Funny Farm" with Chevy Chase? i picture his mailman as Stacie's mailman too. :)

December 29, 2007 at 10:02 AM  

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