Monday, September 1, 2008

about boot camp

Let me tell you about Boot Camp. First let me say I have marbles for brains. The words "boot camp" conjure up ideas of pain, yelling, exhaustion, and other equally charming words. (Insert, "Valerie what were you thinking?")

There is this torturous boot camp called Soldiers of Fitness. I wanted to do it because I thought that would really be impressive. I have a very very fit girlfriend who was training for a marathon in the river valley. As she trained, Soldiers of Fitness ran past her and they were carrying logs. Refreshing, totally refreshing. I guess it was my pride talking that made me want to do SOF. After all, how often do you see people running in the river valley carrying logs or people. I thought being able to do this would prove that I was fit and people would ohh and awhh and say, "That Valerie, is she ever amazing?" Yes, it was pride.

Darling Gordon looked at the brochure and knew intuitively that I was NOT in good enough shape for SOF. (That really wasn't rocket science, he was just a step ahead of me.) Anyway, once hearing that I probably wasn't fit enough for SOF, (I heard it from several sources) I started checking out other boot camps.

Boot camps are sort of expensive and still wanting to eventually do SOF, (as of this writing), I chose one called The Real You Boot Camp. It is affiliated with SOF and once taking it, I'll get a 20% break on my next boot camp. Money talks, so I signed up for it.

At 5:00 this morning I hauled myself out of bed and went to an empty field in the cold black night. There I met other women who've taken this boot camp before. (Clearly it's a good thing, because people come back.) I was the least fit person there, by a long shot. And the instructor punished the whole group for one person's (read MY) mess-ups. For example, during the plank, I let my stomach touch the ground and the instructor yelled, "We're starting over. I saw a stomach touch the ground." This is all for the building of team-work. "It's all about team-work. We don't leave anybody behind," she barked as though we were in the Vietnam jungle trying to get to the helicopter.

I was pathetic. Totally pitifully pathetic. I honestly think some of my badness can be attributed to the early hour. I was nauseous from the first "10-minute run to get the heart rate up." There were no breaks, just three or four 10 seconds to get a drink, which I thought was a commendably virtuous act of generosity. By the same token I was afraid to drink because I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I never did, but I wanted to because I put on quite a show when I throw up. I know I would have gotten a break had I started the vomiting business. Alas, it stayed down.

I can't stress enough just how poorly I did. As daylight broke and class ended, I wanted to just stay lying in the field. My team mates were very nice to me telling me they couldn't do it the first time either. That's where I learned they are all repeat campers. They encouraged me with "It gets easier."

I sure hope so. It's going to be a LOOOOOOONG month if it doesn't. I came home and crawled back in bed and have pretty much been there all day, just getting up occasionally to take more Advil.

So that was my day. How was yours?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Valerie you are one brave cookie - I would be too intimidated to just show up and HOPE I could make it through this exercise - i can not even get myself to go to the fitness gym when people 20 yrs older than me are working out - cause I Know they are in better shape! (I would drive up watch from be hind a tree and then MAYBE i would show up the next day) You go girl - yay hoo for VAL--

September 1, 2008 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous *mindi* said...

oh my goodness. you lost me at "5am"

how often are your bootcamp workouts?

September 1, 2008 at 8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boot camp is 3 mornings a week. As Gordon was leaving for work this morning he asked if we had anything on the agenda for this evening. I said, "Just sittin' around dreading tomorrow." Tomorrow I go back to boot camp. My thighs feel like they've been burnt with huge blazing pokers. v

September 2, 2008 at 8:06 AM  
Blogger Jones said...

wow, i get tired just reading about it, sounds like way too much work for me. you are so brave for even showing up. you go girl.

September 2, 2008 at 9:29 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

That sounds like HELL!!! There is simply no way in the world I would do something like that--NONE, but I'm super proud of you for doing it. Love you

September 3, 2008 at 9:56 AM  

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